Los Peores Pasteles de Londres

A clip from the 2008 Madrid production of the Stephen Sondheim / Hugh Wheeler musical SWEENEY TODD, Vicky Peña performing Mrs. Lovett's first song, "The Worst Pies in London," as spectacular an introduce-a-character number as exists in musical theater.

The Spanish translation of Sondheim's lyrics do a fairly good job conveying the gist of what is said, and the rest of the work can be carried by the music - the character is all right there, even without the words - the humor, the chatty daffiness, the flightiness, the abrupt shifts in thought and attention.

The 'Mrs Mooney' section can't capture the brilliant construction of the original in detailing how she deals with the scarcity of meat:

Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop,
Does a business, but I notice something weird--
Lately all her neighbors' cats have disappeared.
Have to hand it to her--
Wot I calls
Enterprise,
Popping pussies into pies.
Wouldn't do in my shop--
Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick.
And I'm telling you them pussy cats is quick!

That marvelous onomatopoeic consonance of "Popping pussies into pies" and the surprise kicker at the end "And I'm telling you them pussy cats is quick."  Here's Caroline O'Connor's performance of "The Worst Pies" from the 2011 Paris production.

I'm not sure if the song's final joke every quite gets across,

Is that  just revolting?
All greasy and gritty,
It looks like it's molting,
And tastes like--
Well, pity

because it is too unnatural to say "And tastes like shitty" - the intended missing word to rhyme with the gritty, so I'm not sure the audience ever makes that connection - unless the actors somehow sell it. The joke only becomes apparent after the fact with Mrs. Lovett's improvised, "Well, pity," and then the audience figures out what the previous missing word is meant to be.

Surprisingly, the joke hits better in the Spanish version, merely because the rhyme is true:

Sólo grasa y nada más
Por más que lo intento

Por más que me esfuerzo
No logro que pierda
Su aroma de --

The mind naturally and immediately fills in the rhyming blank, "mierda," in a way that doesn't happen in the English original.

Finally, a 1980 British documentary made for the London premiere of SWEENEY TODD, Sheila Hancock, the actress playing Mrs. Lovett, talks about performing "Worst Pies" with some rehearsal footage and the composer performing the song at piano, while detailing the business.